Tuesday, 26 July 2016

real/ly

Tuesday, 26 July 2016 14:37
what is real/ly annoying though is my /pre-suicidal/ depression, which is closer to depersonalization-apathy-laziness-crazy-summer-mix. so there. even though i have to find the thing-we-dont-talk-about i'm not even trying. as in: why, it'll be useless anyways since exper. zero and streng. zero and thingstooffer zero, idek. and since the real(tm) problem is me, myself and i it's not even as if they got to give me a chance/opportunity/alternative reality to live in; anyways daydreaming goes good i suppose and the s4 looks good i mean idk yet but teaser is good yeah...

talking about teasing mr dodidooyouknowwho seems to be too busy to be on social media which makes me more nervous than anything else tbh / kinda sad considering i've got real things to deal w/ just yesterday that alcoholic bullshitery like ever, it's so bad even ma agrees w/ me & now i accidently watched a bit of house-acephobic ep; so why do i even care 'bout mr iwonteverseeuagain what the actual hell is the matter w/ me? that is the question, whether tis nobler to have a shitty thingwedonttalkabout or die in gutter or whatevs

also my spend a penny issue doesn't seem to be making much sense since there is no reason to have it and yet? i suspect my body is trying to die just as hard as my soul does that's why the teeth went to shit (i'm gonna have to go to deal w/ it i'm embarrassed beforehand) and also my so called face and also i didnt wash my hair for like three centuries but that's the dep(tm)shit i guess

my freelicencelifestyle does not work, i repeat, does not, i haven't written anything for so long i dont remember the last time i think my will to live has extincted, im just starring at the screen-im not even reading anymore like idk if this is dep(tm) or just idleness either way it sucks since im not productive in any creative way whatsoever so who cares if my body is shutting down and my life goes to hell; no wonder im slowly giving up

October 2016

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